I am now proclaiming January to be the official month of buyer’s remorse for PC Gamers. Once again, Steam had an absolutely amazing series of sells on a very wide variety of games which resulted in me eating less in January (it is still fulfilling a resolution if you starve yourself financially so you starve yourself thin, right?).
Let’s compare acquisitions, shall we?
Crusader Kings II: Holy shit at the bad interface and jarring tutorials. I blame Rock, Paper, Shotgun for selling me on this game. And like RPS, it is a little foreign at first, but will probably be something I love as time goes on and I give it a few extra chances to amaze.
Spec Ops The Line: This is a cheat since I bought it on Amazon to add to Steam, but it’s on sale on Steam for the same price now, so I will commence with my cheating. I keep playing and waiting and playing and waiting for that deep commentary on war, but I am not there just yet. If it does exist and I do find it, this game might elevate beyond above average third person shooter (which is saying something since third person shooting is the first person platformer of shooters i.e. a horrible idea).
Max Payne 3: I let a friend convince me that it was discounted enough to own. Bought it, installed it, and have since let it collect dust. Probably is a cool game, but I should have kept waiting.
Home: Don’t judge me, but I can’t NOT buy cheap indie games. Especially when the first publication quote calls it a ‘narrative experiment’. My gaming hipster ears perk up at that sort of talk, and the next thing you know I am imitating that stupid Fry meme about taking my money.
Hero Academy: Age of Empires II was so good, that you can get money from me by saying, “I worked for Ensemble.”
Closure: Yeah, I have a collection of indie platformer puzzle games with interesting aesthetics. I’d hide it under my bed with my stamps, coins, and baseball cards, but it is a digital collection. #sad
LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7: I loved the first one enough to 100% complete it in 3 days for a contest. I thought, “Hey, let’s do the exact same thing over again but without a prize incentive?” Still good.
Tropico 4: I love city-building games for their sandbox-style and those great ‘water cooler’ moments you have with your buddies. For instance, I spent one afternoon incarcerating my city’s unhappiest residents because what other metric should I have used for intentionally jailing people? I mean, they were already unhappy. That said, I tend to feel racist when playing Tropico games. Am I alone in that?
Ticket to Ride: I bought the board game version for my girlfriend’s family as a Christmas gift, and we have all loved it. I enjoyed it enough to buy the PC version while it was on sale. It is sparse and probably a little too expensive at full price, but it is faithful to the board game and just as damn fun.
Hotline Miami: I like to imagine Hotline Miami as being on acid while watching A Clockwork Orange and Funny Games on repeat. The ultraviolence just sort of sinks under your skin as your eyes are absorbed by technicolor blood splatters and strange animal masks.
Skyrim Hearthfire: Because I am a moron.
Half Minute Hero: Super Mega Neo Climax Ultimate Boy: Looked fun, is fun.
Fallout 3 – Game of the Year: Because I thought I might want to replay Fallout 3, since I don’t own it on my Xbox 360 anymore. I haven’t yet, but the time will come.
Ace of Spades: Minecraft with Guns? Is there anything more American than that?